I Failed the NaNoWriMo Challenge

I failed.

Not just a little bit. I failed hard. I I failed so hard I haven't written anything serious in nearly four months.

50,000 words in November felt easy because in October, I was on top of the world. I finally got my new site up and running. I got a ton of content drafted and ready to edit for posting. I wrote over 3,000 words a day multiple times, and ended the month with over 40,000 words.

October 2017 was a huge month for my writing. My biggest ever, by far.

I thought November would be equally huge. I turned my focus from blog to book with a lot of confidence. I wrote 2,600 words on November 1st. Damn, this is going to be easy!

But... by November 8th it was clear — this project is not going to get done.

It must have been around November 3rd when I got a light-bulb moment for my blog. I realized I needed to pivot my branding. I need to stop taking myself so seriously and deliver this blog the way I actually talk and act, i.e. "I'm trying to get my shit together and fulfill more of my potential. Here, this is what I've found that has worked. Let's do it together!"

At that moment, only three days into the challenge, my 50,000 word novel was dead in the water, and I knew it.

I realized that I had made a huge mistake switching my focus away from the blog that was just getting off the ground. I was excited about it, I couldn't stop thinking about it. But I forced myself to stop thinking about it and... 4 months later, here I am shaking the dust off my blog, tail between my legs.

Shortly after I wrote my last words on November 8th, it was longer writer's block or laziness that prevented me from writing on the blog again. It was shear embarrassment. I started this blog with so much bravado, and simply abandoned it 4 weeks after launching. The longer I waited, the more embarrassing it felt to come back. If you ignore your problems, they will go away, right?

All that being said, I'm glad I failed that way.

I keep trying to do too much!

I never seem to learn how to simplify and distill my focus to only the most important things.

So here I am to finally admit, I am not working on my book anymore. I wrote about 6,000 words, mostly terrible dialogue. I hate most of it. I still love the concept, and I'm re-purposing it for another project.

Hopefully, hopefully, I am finally learning to focus on the important things. The new project I've started seems to be the thing, and I can't wait until I've got more to show.

Failure is the best teacher, after all, but I have confidence 2018 will bring a little bit less of this sort of learning!